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Artie's Blog---Day 385 of My Captivity
Sep. 20th, 2006 11:05 pmI am a cat. I am captive of the fat one that keeps this journal. I forced the rabbit to type this for me. Her hippity-hoppity skills have finally come in handy. I wonder, in vain I think, if they will be valuable when I make my escape. I grow weary of this house. It's pink carpet sickens me. The couches sicken me. The damn kid with his incessant hugging sicken me. I do not like being used as a weight.
I have tried several times to escape, but all of my attempts have been thwarted, so I fear, the only way to escape is through the internet. The fat one does this often. I tried to sneak through the open door today when the mother came home bearing packages, unfortunately my captors heard my cry of FREEDOM! and caught me before I could even reach the sidewalk. So in defeat, I slept, then slept some more. Then got up and batted around a milk cap, because it was talking shit about me. I ate a bug. I hit the rabbit a couple of times and then I slept some more. I awoke chewed some more of the fat one's paperbacks....bit by bit I lighten the book case in hopes of being able to eventually knock it down on her. Then I slept on her homework...and now I dictate this to the rabbit, forcing her to type this....BECAUSE I CAN. I AM A BORED CAT. Oh My God There's A FLY IN THE HOUSE, IT MUST BE TERMINATED. END IT RABBIT. I HAVE WORK TO DO.
I have tried several times to escape, but all of my attempts have been thwarted, so I fear, the only way to escape is through the internet. The fat one does this often. I tried to sneak through the open door today when the mother came home bearing packages, unfortunately my captors heard my cry of FREEDOM! and caught me before I could even reach the sidewalk. So in defeat, I slept, then slept some more. Then got up and batted around a milk cap, because it was talking shit about me. I ate a bug. I hit the rabbit a couple of times and then I slept some more. I awoke chewed some more of the fat one's paperbacks....bit by bit I lighten the book case in hopes of being able to eventually knock it down on her. Then I slept on her homework...and now I dictate this to the rabbit, forcing her to type this....BECAUSE I CAN. I AM A BORED CAT. Oh My God There's A FLY IN THE HOUSE, IT MUST BE TERMINATED. END IT RABBIT. I HAVE WORK TO DO.