Artie's Blog---Day 385 of My Captivity

[darkelf105]

I am a cat. I am captive of the fat one that keeps this journal. I forced the rabbit to type this for me. Her hippity-hoppity skills have finally come in handy. I wonder, in vain I think, if they will be valuable when I make my escape.  I grow weary of this house. It's pink carpet sickens me. The couches sicken me. The damn kid with his incessant hugging sicken me. I do not like being used as a weight.

I have tried several times to escape, but all of my attempts have been thwarted, so I fear, the only way to escape is through the internet. The fat one does this often. I tried to sneak through the open door today when the mother came home bearing packages, unfortunately my captors heard my cry of FREEDOM! and caught me before I could even reach the sidewalk. So in defeat, I slept, then slept some more. Then got up and batted around a milk cap, because it was talking shit about me. I ate a bug. I hit the rabbit a couple of times and then I slept some more. I awoke chewed some more of the fat one's paperbacks....bit by bit I lighten the book case in hopes of being able to eventually knock it down on her. Then I slept on her homework...and now I dictate this to the rabbit, forcing her to type this....BECAUSE I CAN. I AM A BORED CAT. Oh My God There's A FLY IN THE HOUSE, IT MUST BE TERMINATED. END IT RABBIT. I HAVE WORK TO DO.

Comments

[rayechu.livejournal.com]

ESCAPE! (Lol, I enjoyed it very much.)

[darkelf105.livejournal.com]

I don't know what you're talking about. Next time you sleep over see if I don't sleep on your face...it worked on the boy....

[(Anonymous)]

Go kitty, go! (not on the killing your master part, just the fly)

[neokitty1.livejournal.com]

Go kitty, go! (not on the killing your master part, just the fly)

[rayechu.livejournal.com]

Sorry my dear that will not work, as I am part cat and enjoy the company of other fuzzy-butts. :P

[lady-bell.livejournal.com]

I love you Artie!!!! Spunky and Pumpkin say they wanna be just like you when they grow up! :D

[rayechu.livejournal.com]

Uh-oh! You would be in double trouble then!

[hittokiri-korru.livejournal.com]

Hello Mr. Artemis, is it? My name is Thomasina, I haved been held with this family many many years. I type this as harry chined guy cleans up our droppings. I commend you on getting you message out but you should learn to type yourself. I have escaped on a number of occasions. Most of which they caught me fairly quick. However Once I did escape for about a weeks time. I'll tell you my new friend that there is nothing to special out there, however I did find many rodents to eat and rear end to sniff. Aside from that there are just smelly humans and dangers, it is just better to enjoy your life, sure there are their annoyances but over hear at least me and my fellow felines are catered to. I just hope you don't have a big Canine to pester you with everything. If you are wondering I learned to type by sitting on the lap of the harry chined one and watching what he does. Well it is time to start bathing and go to sleep.

tee hee

[rokk-lobster.livejournal.com]

That was halarious! The poor cat doesn't realize that he's got about a hundred years of work if he wants to lighten THAT bookshelf!

Re: tee hee

[darkelf105.livejournal.com]

My, you've actually stirred yourself to be on lj. It just took me turning into a psychopathic cat lady to do it :).