Shasta Daisy Valentine story
Feb. 14th, 2007 11:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
darkelf105I know, I know, I'm two hours and fifteen minutes to late to be posting a Valentine's day fic, but Nicky's picture of Hanali inspired me. This is with our Broken Lands comic characters, and most of it is well, incomprehensible, but Shasta Daisy is a blue half-fiend sorcere. Kiriel is a half-celestial ranger, Altaris is a knight AND butler and Hanali is a vampire monk. They were originally d&d characters. It takes place in an elven fiefdom inside a much larger kingdom. You're welcome to read and comments are appreciated, but mainly this one is for Nicky and Ryan. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!
"Idiots," she as she toed Kiriel's groaning form with her boot," you can't spy on a vampire with a mirror. I win at St. Valencia's Day."
Shasta Daisy, lord of Oakdale Manor and surrounding fiefdom, sniffed cautiously and gagged. It smelled like blood fruit. A lot of blood fruit. He tried to pull the sturdy quilt higher over his face, but a weight at the bottom of his bed prevented it. Shasta sat up and glared at the foot of his bed and then kicked savagely at the figure sleeping there.
“You have a cot,” he hissed, “Why are you at the foot of my bed? You. Are. Stealing. All. The. Covers. And. That. Is. Unacceptable.”
“Uh,” muttered the lump at the end of the bed. Shasta Daisy kicked again and lashed his tail in frustration. The half-demon briefly contemplated how much damage a lightening bolt would really do to a half-celestial demigod, but then the smell of blood fruit wafted into the room once more, causing his throat to clench shut.
“Arghhhhh,” he gasped,” Can you swallow a smell? I just swallowed the smell. It’s going down my throat. EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW.”
“Wah?” said the lump at the end of the bed.
Shasta cocked his foot back for another attack, but as he was about to release, an arm snaked out from the pile of blankets and grabbed his ankle.
“I wouldn’t,” muttered Kiriel, still half asleep.
Shasta tried to move his foot but Kiriel twisted the appendage harder.
“Why are you at the foot of my bed?”
“Thought I heard something in the night, ‘s easier to protect you from here.”
Shasta let out a gusty sigh but immediately closed his mouth for fear of more blood fruit stench going down his throat.
“Why are you up, Shasta? ‘S not even noon.”
“Can’t you smell it? It’s worse than a fart. What could that vampire possibly be doing that would require that much blood fruit? It’s ten o’clock in the morning. WHY IS SHE UP?” Shasta’s voice screeched and Kiriel smirked. The ranger sat up and ran a hand through his long pink hair.
“I think it’s time to get up, Sha.”
Shasta Daisy smashed a pillow over his face and mumbled, “Not until I know where exactly in the keep that stench is coming from.”
Kiriel began to say something but the door to Shasta’s chamber slammed open, interrupting him.
“You have got to stop them.”
Shasta peeked over the top of his pillow and immediately put it back over his face. Altaris, butler, chief soldier and foremost of his attendants, stood in the door, panting.
“Stop who?” came Shasta’s muffled reply.
“You know exactly to whom I refer, m’lord,” said Altaris through clenched jaws. He stormed into the room and plucked the pillow from Shasta’s face.
“You are the lord here,” he said with a grim smile. “It’s time you started acting like it.”
Kiriel tittered. “You only let him be lord when you don’t want to do it.”
Altaris glared at the ranger. Shasta Daisy sat up and gave Altaris the most charming alu fiend smile he was capable of. He hoped that his dimples looked cuter than usual, as Altaris was radiating black anger.
Altaris glared at the ranger. Shasta Daisy sat up and gave Altaris the most charming alu fiend smile he was capable of. He hoped that his dimples looked cuter than usual, as Altaris was radiating black anger.
“Um, Altaris,” said Shasta, twirling a long lock of lavender hair around a pale blue finger,” do you know just how cute you are when you’re mad?”
The elven knight’s face twitched. He took a deep breath and said,” I won’t be so cute in a few minutes. My sword is right outside the door.”
Kiriel laughed again. “I don’t think you can be anything but cute in that apron.”
The knight scowled as he tore off a lacy, pink apron covered in hearts. Kiriel was going to say something but the elven butler slammed the pillow he was holding so hard into the half-angel’s face that the ranger was knocked from the bed.
“See milord, all impediments to your awakening have been taken care of. Get up and stop her before she ruins everything.”
Shasta gulped and said “Do you really, really, really think, in your hear of hearts, Altaris, that I can stop her?”
“No. But if she wounds you, it’s not the end of the world. We can manage without you. We need everyone else to prepare for the feast tonight. You are just blue baggage that gets in the way.”
“That was uncalled for,” sniffed Shasta.
“The truth is always called for, sir. Now get up. St. Valencia’s day is here and we are having a feast….and well, just get to the kitchens quickly…” The butler stalked from room muttering about monsters and kings that employed monsters.
Shasta got up and grabbed leggings and a tunic.
“You know,” said Kiriel thoughtfully as he shrugged into his clothes,”St. Valencia’s day means cookies….”
“Ah hell,” said Shasta as he grabbed a wand and bolted from the chamber, Kiriel clamoring a few steps behind.
The stench of blood fruit got stronger the closer Shasta and Kiriel got to the kitchen. Shasta Daisy pulled his tunic up over his face and motioned for Kiriel to stop.
“What are you waiting for,” whispered Kiriel,” aren’t we going in?”
“It’s quiet, too quiet in there. What if Hanali has laid a trap?”
“I’ll go first,” offered Kiriel.
“Okay.”
“Coward,” muttered the ranger. “Give my your maze mirror.”
Shasta reached into his ever-present bag of holding and pulled out a mirror on a hooked stick. He handed it to Kiriel. The ranger took it and slowly inched towards the door. He opened the door a crack and slipped the mirror through.
“Um, Sha, Cook has a group of rangers pinned behind the table. Um she looks like maybe Hanali used her, well, vampiric charms on her, and she looks like she's gonna do some real damage with her soup ladle and uh, Hanali, looks like she’s, uh stirring something. And it really stinks of blood fruit in there.”
“Okay, we have got to stop Hanali. Take my holy symbol and see if you can back her into a corner. I’ll try to tackle Cook so the rangers can get free and help us get the vampire out of the kitchen.”
“On three, one, two, three—“ and with a roar ranger and sorcerer burst through the kitchen door. Kiriel raised his holy symbol high and Shasta Daisy raised his wand. They both stopped as they noticed that the figure behind the table in front of them wasn’t Hanali, but a Hanali-like dummy.
“What?” said Kiriel.
There was a giggle from behind them. Shasta and Kiriel spun around to face the door they had just burst through. Standing there, blood fruit in hand, was Hanali. The vampire grinned evilly as she tossed it lightly up and down.
There was a giggle from behind them. Shasta and Kiriel spun around to face the door they had just burst through. Standing there, blood fruit in hand, was Hanali. The vampire grinned evilly as she tossed it lightly up and down.
“I see you’re awake Sha, but it’s too late. All the cookie dough has blood fruit in it. Now I can eat as many cookies as I want and not get sick. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!”
“Ew,” said Shasta Daisy.
“Yup,” said Hanali, her wicked grin still plastered in place.
“Will you at least release Cook from your control so that she can make some normal food for the feast?”
“Nope,” smirked Hanali.
“Then I’m going to have to stop you.” Shasta raised his wand, but Hanali was faster. She threw the glistening, bloody fruit and smashed the blue half-fiend in the face with a sploot!
Shasta immediately went down, retching and clawing at his face. Kiriel tried to spin and kick Hanali, but the vampire wrapped the shadows around her figure and jumped. She came up out of the shadows behind Kiriel and kicked him in the knees. The ranger went down on top of the writhing Shasta Daisy with a groan.
Shasta immediately went down, retching and clawing at his face. Kiriel tried to spin and kick Hanali, but the vampire wrapped the shadows around her figure and jumped. She came up out of the shadows behind Kiriel and kicked him in the knees. The ranger went down on top of the writhing Shasta Daisy with a groan.
Hanali cackled triumphantly and said,” Happy St. Valencia’s day, losers.”
The rangers trapped behind the table, pinned down by Cook’s flailing ladle, clapped weakly. Hanali laughed harder as she stuffed a cookie in her mouth. "Idiots," she as she toed Kiriel's groaning form with her boot," you can't spy on a vampire with a mirror. I win at St. Valencia's Day."
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Best Valentine's Day Gift Ever
on 2007-02-15 01:24 pm (UTC)And you incorporated the shadow-jumping! Silly Kiriel, you can't see vampires in the mirror, duh.
Katie you have no idea how many kinds of awesome that it is. I think that is the best Shasta story you have ever written. And well, when we do the comic for real I think we should take the week of valentines to do it in the comic because well, it was funny, and I really want to see Altaris in a little pink apron. And red font, how cool!
::does a little dance::
Yeah, if I knew you were writing last night I would have stayed up for this.
no subject
on 2007-02-15 02:11 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2007-02-15 05:39 pm (UTC)Loved the kicking and the fact that Hanali managed to find a dummy of herself.
MMMMMOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE
no subject
on 2007-02-15 06:56 pm (UTC)