Sometimes you gotta engage in literal dialog with the text...

[darkelf105]

T

Okay, so for all of you who don't know, Bernard of Clairvaux is the medieval diva who brought us the Cistercian monks (who were boring,  but also apparently didn't wear underwear because St. Benedict had never covered that part of monastic life whilst writing in his hole, holes not being conducive to thinking about all sorts of things, like, oh, idk underwear), but he also wrote stuff, stuff that I have to read.

Ole Bernard wrote eighty-six sermons on The Song of Songs, quite possibly one of the most erotic pieces of literature handed down to us in the West from the ancient world.  The Song of Songs is saucy, decadent, weird and highly, highly sexualized. And Bernard is like the thought that wilts your wee wee. After reading his sermons, you will not feel like sexy-time for a long time. He likes allegory, he does, ole Bernard.*


Except, there is his second sermon, on the part of The Song that goes a litte like this: "Let him kiss me with the kiss of his mouth." 

Ahem.

I have engaged Bernard in dialog in true Socratic fashion, and I have come away disturbed.**

Now then, here is the scene. Katie O'Keefe's living room. December. Before finals.



Bernard of Clairvaux: Let him who is beautiful beyond the children of men kiss me with the kiss of his mouth.

Katie: Wait, what? That sounds suspiciously like yaoi dialog...

Bernard: I am no longer content with what Moses says for he sounds like someone who cannot speak well.

Katie: Hey why you gotta play like that? Moses seemed alright to me. 'Sides, I don't read the Bible so Biblical allusion goes over my head---

Bernard: Isaiah is a man of unclean lips.

Katie: Whoah, is herpes air born? Because if you were all up in Isaiah's grill and you caught something keep it to yourself, homeslice.  

Bernard: But he, he of whom they speak, let him speak to me. Let him kiss me with the kiss of his mouth.

Katie: Er, I think I know where this is going... We are talking about Jesus, right? Uh...

Bernard: I do not presume to think that I shall be kissed by his mouth---

Katie: Well you could ask---

Bernard: I ask to be kissed by the kiss of his mouth, which is shared by many, those who can say, "Indeed from his fullness we have all received."

Katie: Hey, Jesus is not a man-whore! Take that back!

Bernard: O happy kiss, and wonder of amazing, self-humbling which is not merely a meeting of lips, but the union of God with man.

Katie: Does God know you think like this? I mean, maybe he's not that into you---

Bernard: I do not rise up or awaken; I am not shaken free of the dust; I do not breathe in hope, if the prophet himself does not come down and kiss me with the kiss of his mouth.

Katie: Uh-huh. Interesting. Um. So you want to mack on Jesus? Uh I guess I get that,  like I have elaborate fantasies in which some how Ben Barnes has to make out with me or the world will end---

Bernard: If he is not going to go back on what he has said let him empty himself, humble himself---

Katie: Ew. I don't think Jesus made you any such promise, young man.

Bernard: Let him bend low and "kiss me with the kiss of his mouth".

Katie: Whoah, whoah, who the hell stared talking about bending over?!

Bernard: When I know that the Mediator who is the Son of God is mine, then I shall accept him trustingly. Then there can be no mistrust. For he is brother to my flesh. For I think that bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh cannot spurn me.

Katie: Hey, wait a freaking minute! I get that allusion. No you are not Eve and Jesus is not Adam, oh my God, go take a cold shower!

Bernard: "Behold the Lord will appear; He will not lie. If he seems slow, wait for him, he will come, and that is soon"---

Katie: ::wails:: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH, I don't wanna talk about Jesus coming!***

Bernard: DId I mention I want him to kiss me with the kiss of his mouth?

Katie: Yes you did. Here, take my favorite Burt's Bee chapstick, it's pomegranate. But get the hell out and go make out with Jesus somewhere else!

Bernard: Mmmmm, pomegranate.






*I don't, however.
**I am a literalist.
*** I feel like I should apologize for that mental image. But I'm not really sorry and remain unrepentant..

Comments

[i-renovated.livejournal.com]

omg...i'm laughing so hard i have to hold my breath to keep from calling attention to myself...here...in my office. I cried. And now I think I may have to pee.

[darkelf105.livejournal.com]

Lol, I'm actually glad this entry makes sense as I was tipsy when I wrote it...spent forty minutes with the highlighter in word because the colors were pretty...But Bernard of Clairvaux when sober is even worse. On the re-read today...I just, wow, I mean I know he was allegorizing and whatnot, but he really, really is talking about making out with Jesus.

[i-renovated.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid so...but Song of Songs tends to have that effect on people. Compound that with living by yourself, in a HOLE, without any undies and...yeah...it's like something I'd write about. lol.

I mean...come on:

Cant 5:5
I arose to open to my beloved,
and my hands dripped with myrrh,
my fingers with liquid myrrh,
upon the handles of the bolt.

I don't care HOW you translate that, it comes up SMEX. Bernard was manipulating his magic stick. THAT's why no undies.

[darkelf105.livejournal.com]

Lol, it makes a lot of sense now, oh yes it does.

I'm just glad we didn't have to read all 80 some of his sermons. I like the Middle Ages and everything, but that, that would have killed some brain cells.