I haz the plague...

I have the worst case of flu. I haven't been this sick since I was a kid. This is the fourth day of it and the only reason I'm ambulatory is because I have a math test (sorry all you anonymous CSU suckers I will come in contact with, because despite my best efforts to wash my hands every chance I get and proper cough etiquette, you'll all probably get it as this mofo is contagious as hell).

I have spent more time in front of the tv than I have in the last three years combined. It's led to some startling realizations on my part:

There is nothing on. Why are we all paying for this?

Yes, you can watch the same episode of the Daily Show three times in the same day and still be amused. It also proves how lazy you are.

The drug Chantix is a ho and prolly killed your grandmother.

No, I do not want to go to Scott Hamilton And Friends On Ice. Scott Hamilton hasn't got any friends, precious. Only acquaintances.

I find the commercial for car insurance with the talking pothole hysterical. I dunno. Gimme a break, I've been running a fever on and off for days.

Black Jack tacos look disgusting. Por que? Por que.

I have no brain left, especially not after twelve+ hours of the Golden Girls. God I hate Blanche.