Friends, there are no words....
Nov. 23rd, 2009 07:14 pmIt is quite possibly not only one of the worst Drizzt novels I've ever read (which is saying something), it's also quite possibly one of the worst books I've read and finished, period.
How the hell do you go from the wonderful that was The Pirate King to the slow slog through hell that is The Ghost King? For the sake of all the is good and awesome, how can a book that contains Jarlaxle be BORING? HOW CAN JARLAXLE BE BORING? I dunno, but Salvatore managed it.
Also, no one gives a rat's ass about Cadderly Bonduce's children. They are not only human and teenaged twins, they are also BORING. In fact, their being human and teenaged twins consigns them to the realm of boring fantasy characters almost instantly.
Regis and Catti-brie, you guys got punked. Neither of you were ever my favorite characters, but I weep for you fates. I am sorry.
....and I'm weak, so we all know I'm gonna read the Chronicles of Elantra, skip the Aristotle entirely and write a really, really crappy paper.
Whine!Flail.
Studen A: ...and then there was the civil war*. In which the good ones fought the good ones, yanno?
Student B: Yeah, exactly. And then after it was all over they created another dimension.....
And then I could hear no more and did not want to be a creepy stalker and so kept walking.
But that sounded way epic.
*they may have been talking about the American Civil War, just by the way the one student said it. It sounded like it had capitals. But I cannot be sure. I kinda hope they were.
Aha, killer unicorns, what?
Nov. 17th, 2009 12:32 pm*(and her continued insistence that just because there isn't an explanation for the unicorns, doesn't make them magic. Also she consistently points out that the other girls' theory about Alexander the Great and the goddess Diana make no LOGICAL sense, even if one DID believe in Roman goddesses and that Alexander the Great rode a unicorn. I just soooooo hope Peterfreund doesn't cop out and make Astrid wrong and everything's all magic, because let me tell you, Astrid is a refreshing protaganist what with being a proponent of science and all.)
Also, Sagara's tone reminds me A LOT of Lorna Freeman's Borderlands books, so that is full of epic, epic win. I ♥ grumpy anthro kitties, always.
Why the hell does no one tell me anything!
Nov. 7th, 2009 12:04 pmI LOVE the Borderlands novels soooooooooooo much, BUT they just STOPPED and I was left with nothing to do except obsessively re-read that the two that are out. And give them to the significant other, who also re-reads them obsessively . I tried to stalk Lorna Freeman online for like the past two years with no results. Also nagged the previous publisher of her novels ceaselessly (OH THE LETTERS AND THE WHINE!FLAIL that came outta me) because she just disappeared, and left one of my favorite series just hanging, unfinished. Oh, it was horrible...but, but...now they may be releasing it? They had better be, because I had that fucker pre-ordered that last time, and then it was canceled and there was horror and gnashing of teeth.....
but but but, yay!1!11111!!!!!!!!! new Borderlands. I can barely contain my glee.
...except advertising works and despite my rage over the body issues women have competing with utterly gorgeous Hollywood gals and their unrealistic looks, I'm still going to buy a new tube of mascara...probably as soon as I can stop coughing....
I haz the plague...
Oct. 30th, 2009 10:57 amI have spent more time in front of the tv than I have in the last three years combined. It's led to some startling realizations on my part:
There is nothing on. Why are we all paying for this?
Yes, you can watch the same episode of the Daily Show three times in the same day and still be amused. It also proves how lazy you are.
The drug Chantix is a ho and prolly killed your grandmother.
No, I do not want to go to Scott Hamilton And Friends On Ice. Scott Hamilton hasn't got any friends, precious. Only acquaintances.
I find the commercial for car insurance with the talking pothole hysterical. I dunno. Gimme a break, I've been running a fever on and off for days.
Black Jack tacos look disgusting. Por que? Por que.
I have no brain left, especially not after twelve+ hours of the Golden Girls. God I hate Blanche.
Books, books, books
Oct. 19th, 2009 07:42 pmSoulless by Gail Carriger
What a silly, poufy read! Set in Victorian London, the story follows the misadventures of one Alexia Tarabotti, spinster, in all of her vampire slaying, werewolf chastising, and treacle eating glory. In this world, vampires and werewolves have been indirectly on the political scene for ages, but during the early fifteenth century, they became tired of living playaing politics in the shadows and thus came into power more directly by revealing their monster-y selves to the world. This results in the Renaissance. Further along in history, England becomes a haven for the supernatural, embracing them and using their prodigious powers and knowledge, to TAKE OVER THE WORLD, er, establish the British Empire. Werewolves, vampires and ghosts are the three types of supernatural beings inhabiting this Victorian Earth, and apparently these beings are the result of having too much “soul”. Carriger is never quite clear on the mechanics of her supernatural beings, but it lends a sense of the numinous to the novel, rather than detracting from it. Alexia, on the other hand, has no soul at all, which means she directly counteracts the effects of having too much soul, thus when she touches a werewolf or a vampire, they turn into mortals. Clearly, antics will ensue.
Needless to say, despite some problems with the world building* , I really, really enjoyed it. Alexia is a splendid protag and I totally, totally loved her. Anybody who is worried about messing up their dress and what’s for dessert after whacking a vampire in the nether regions with a brass parasol has got my attention. Alexia is stringent, intelligent, stubborn and something else. I loved her voice. I also enjoyed the romance between Alexia and Lord Maccon. Maccon is obviously an Alpha male character. After all, he is the alpha of the main werewolf pack in London, and yet he never comes off as a douche-bag or asshat. He asks Alexia her opinions, treats her like an equal and loves her for herself… and her prodigious bosoms, but hey, he’s a man, so we’ll forgive him. I have a love/hate relationship with the Victorians, mainly because they were assholes. I usually try not judge history too much, but Victorian ideas of race, gender and class are partly to blame for a large chunk of the world’s problems today. However, Carringer’s tone is so silly and wonderful, that I just sort of ignored most of my objections to her world building. I hope, however, that she will add some more significant female characters and that they will be as wonderful as Alexia in the next book. Ivy, Alexia’s best friend is the next most significant female character and although she is personable, she is nowhere near as well developed as almost all of the secondary male characters, such as Professor Lyall, the werewolf pack’s beta male, or Floote, the Tarrabotti’s butler. But all in all, Soulless was an absolutely charming read.
*most of them having to do with the irritation I experience when modern writers set things in Victorian times and proceed to point out how society expected women to be pretty worthless and then proceed to prove that modern writers still think that female characters aren’t as interesting as male characters thus sorta making them asshats for pointing it out in the first place. I mean, read Jane Austen. Her characters live and breathe the time period (what with her books being written in the period, but whatever) and all of the weird complex social mores of the time, and yet all the female characters are believable, human individuals. I don’t like the whole, “These societies devalued females, so therefore women from these societies must have been cardboard cutouts of the male expectations of their time period and so must have just been set dressing for the historical goings on.” Yeah, except that sorta writes women completely out of history. So no woman in a male dominated society was ever an individual or anything, ever, right?
This time, you may judge me and I shall not be angered or peeved by it.
Books, books, books
Oct. 17th, 2009 12:57 pm( Pump Six and Other Stories )
( Four and Twenty Blackbirds and Wings to the Kingdom )
( Gardens of the Moon and Deadhouse Gates )
I may need help...
Oct. 14th, 2009 06:06 pm....and then I'm maybe going to write so Drizzt Do'Urden fanfic because Ghost King pissed me off and I gotta let off some steam before I rant about it on the interwebs...but that doesn't make me CRAZY, does it?